Perceptions

 

good_bad_quote_shakespear

Years, that quote above has driven me nuts. For the longest time I’ve continually argued that the thought is missing a key element. Even digging into Hamlet and seeing what it is actually referring too, does lend a bit of support to my view.

I guess you could call me a believer in an absolute morality, that good and bad are concrete forms and in a sense unchanging. In a strange way I am actually describing that I am capable of believing in something so strongly that my views and thus actions are unwavering.

Yet, perception is something I’ve been deeply acquainted with sense I was a child. I was in the third grade when I wrote a paper dissecting the advertisement and marketing principals used in grocery stores. Okay, I’m still marveling about it all these years for it was so accurate even after all these years.  I was the bullied child from my classmates because I was marked by adults as “strange.” As I got older and learned how to manage perceptions better, I walked between sub-cultures in high school without concern of bulling or any problem arising from it.

I’ve often been puzzled by my perceptions. For who I am and where I have been, I should have been faced with heavy discrimination, bulling, sexism, sexual harassment, and other varied form of shit piles. I do believe there is truth in the phrase, we often create our own troubles. And far too often we have our nose right on the tree truck and still unable to see the forest all around us.

Perceptions are like viewing a specific rotation of a kaleidoscope. Rotate it a single degree and the view changes, morphing into something markedly different than before. Life isn’t static. It moves and changes and having a single view of anything feels disingenuous.

We get to choose how we perceive the world. We choose to put on one of a hundreds of different coloured glasses instead of trying on various pairs.

I look back and I end up chuckling. I expected no issues of being a woman in the working world and I had no problems, for the most part. Until I encounter people who believed women in the working world were some kind of problem to deal with. That’s been pretty much the lesson; it’s not a problem until someone takes their problem and tries to make it yours.

This is something I’m looking at in my life. I first acknowledge that I can choose what my perceptions are for any given thing, issue, problem. What are my perceptions? How can I change my perceptions? What needs work? In what way will this change benefit me?

It’s not easy pealing my nose off the tree so I can see the beauty of the forest around me. I’m working on it. I hope you are too.

 

Helpful and Related Articles:

DO YOU CAUSE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS?

Schools of Thought: The Madness of Consensus

Life Isn’t Good or Bad; It Just Is

I refuse to celebrate Woman’s Day

It’s everywhere on social media – Happy International Woman’s Day. I won’t click a like or a plus or share any of those postings. The whole movement of Women Power I want to divorce myself from. It has gone way too far. It is no longer about equality but superiority. I do not want anything to do with that.

There was a dream of equality, where men and women could pursue their desires without ridicule, without social stigma. Now it is acceptable to shame men for being male. Now it is acceptable to shame women for being female. Now it is acceptable to shame. I find that unacceptable without equivocation.

I have experienced sexism in the workplace. In fact, I experienced more of it in dealing with women! I’ve worked in male-dominated industries without dealing with untold amounts of sexual harassment from men. But sexism, I got a lot of that from women.

Now, I’m not a butch, not a lez. I am undeniably female. Long hair, big big tits and wide hips-I cannot hide my gender even if I wanted too. I am not fragile. I am built for endurance and hard work. Ten hour days of physical labor would leave me just as tired as the men but I still had hours ahead of me of more work to do. The whole house chore inequality between sexes is a real thing. But frankly, that is more a relationship issue than a social one. The thing is, if I could not have kept up, I would have been washed out and dismissed. And that would have been fair.

Not all women are cut out to do the work I was doing. Hell, not all men are cut out for it either. But the thing I’ve noticed, in tough working environments, it’s about getting the job done and never about what’s between your legs. And strangely, in working environments where most anyone can do the work, sexism pops up it’s ugly little head. Where before women were screaming about sexual harassment in the office, it’s now going to be men screaming. And soon after, women will be silenced about the sexism of their female bosses. All because women power won.

That was never my fight. I wanted equality. I wanted the acceptability to pursue the work, the life and the loves that I desired. I had that for a little while. The women like me, that come after me, will have to be tougher than me. They are going to have to fight harder for the equality denied them and everyone.

I march to my own drummer. So be it.

Equality for All.

Today of all days

OMG This country has gone fucking nuts. Hurry up people and make pot legal and get this country stones off its ass so it can only think about where to get the next round of munchies.

Too many people want to fight. Too many think they are right. Too many people willing to risk Other’s lives. Too many people want to die. All you fuckers are crazy beyond belief. This isn’t the land of brave or the free. Welcome to the US, where our souls are sold for dollars and our hurts manipulated for those cyberlife hours. It’s all a scam, the news isn’t real. Everything is upside down – right is wrong and wrong is right and no body knows why or how it flipped one day. I can hear the drums of war playing on the television and piped in on the net. And all you dumbass are falling for it. Puppets, puppets, thinking you are doing righteous acts – saving your people – your cause – your life not even realizing you’re the cause – you’re the cause it’s all dying. “Stand up!” they scream calling you to the ranks of protest – puppet fodder – cannon fodder – you don’t even know who’s calling the orders – your mind’s been clouded too long with emotions, addicted to feeling good, feeling oh so heavenly – on the cause of heaven and right – and so damn blind. You can’t see what your doing – your damn nose is stuck up the tree and you can’t see the forest burning. Everything good that should be stood for – all thrown away – deemed an inconvenience to the progress of the cause. If you’re so willing to throw away honesty, throw away humility, throw away compassion, throw away justice, throw away progress just because your cause is willing to sacrifice that as a loss to the greater good – now that’s the upside down thinking right there. Throw the world topsy turvy – confuse the population – start riots and fighting – destabilize the rule of law – increase the disrespect for society and their fellow man – demonize anyone who disagrees – you got the perfect recipe –
to .. really? And you want me to spell it out for you too?
Wake the Fuck Up Already!

Oh really? Today is what?

It’s quite funny, today is International Woman’s day and I haven’t the slightest bit of interest in it. Never heard of it before and I’m sure it’s going to be used as some bellwether for a political movement or some such thing. I see social media references to protests. I just shrug and move on.

Somebody pretty important to me recently said they were going ‘radio silent’ for a while. Okay, everyone needs to do that from time to time. Not a big deal, right? Except, they are still pretty active on social media. Right. They just didn’t want to say they had no interest in talking to me anymore. Oooookay then.

So, in the interest of International Women’s Day, I suggest you be honest to the women in your life. At the very least you get to say you participated in celebrating this day. Win – Win for everyone!

Anyways, by the time International Men’s Day rolls around, I’m sure the guys can present the world a list of celebratory actions to partake in. Just sign me up for the cooking. I’ll put on coffee and make a feast.

We Will Stand United

Here is why being quiet about politics will never work; it is up to us, the public, and not the news agencies to denounce the actions, behaviors, beliefs and policies of people in power and influence. We, the people are responsible for that, not the news.

If we remain quite, if we remain silent, our view, our voice can not be considered in the greater conversation that takes place. Yes, it is uncomfortable to voice your convictions. I assure you, now it is necessary more than ever to speak out.

Yet, do consider your principles and what they are based on. We as a people, as a country have a diverse background and set of principles. It is fool hardy to believe that everyone believes as you do. It is equally fool hardy to believe that everyone values the same principles as you.

This Thanksgiving, I hope families gather around the table to share a meal and conversation. I hope strangers come together, share a meal and ideas. I hope this country comes together and finds at least one thing to hold on to of value. I implore you that it be holding to the principals outlined in our Constitution and Bill of Rights.

We, as Americans, of all creeds, beliefs, religions or not are held together by this common thread. It is our country and our Constitution that makes us unique. It is our Constitution that unifies us. It is not political affiliations or religion that accomplishes unity.

Let our love of Freedom unite us!

We Are All French Today

Watching the numbers grow higher last night, I couldn’t help but cry. I was able to hold my own children closer and tuck them in bed and tell them I love them. And I knew countless families are in mourning, lives cut so short by actualized hate.

I am a softy. I will be crying over everything for the foreseeable future. But I cry for those lost and for those grieving. I cry for myself as there are now much lost in our world. What amazing people we have lost, what could they have become and done is gone. The world today is just a bit smaller and sadder.

I don’t like commenting on the news. What would my few words do to help? And then it hit me, we have to add back to the love in the universe. We need to feel the horror to remind us we are not as separate as we might think even though we may be countries apart. Such actions ripple though all of us, affects every single one of us. And we have to let love, kindness and generosity guide us. Above all we can not let hate guide us or will be no different than those who carried out those attacks, who’s hearts was twisted and hardened by hate.

Today I am French in my heart and in grief.

Pagans, Hugging, and the Fine Art of Consent: A PSA

Okay, before I can even get started on what I want to say, just hop on over to the link below, read through it and come on back. I have some words I need to lay down. I’ll wait.

Pagans, Hugging, and the Fine Art of Consent: A PSA

Okay. You made it back. Good. What did you think about the article? What did you think about all the comments? Good. Keep those in mind for a moment longer. I want to try something here.  I have a video to offer….I’ll add it as a link….take a viewing and come on back.

Tea Consent – YouTube

Made it back again, great! What do you think? It’s still about the same issues, consent. It really doesn’t matter what the topic is, be it hugs, or tea or even sex.

I think the problem is that in our Western Culture, society tends to allow things to be swept under the rug often for the sake of status quo. And frankly change is hard and often painful. If you take away respect for consent, take away the right for a person to establish boundaries for themselves, take away the right to refuse hugs….I hope you can see where this is going.

Let me put it simply, we live in a Rape culture. This culture finds tons of ways to excuse various violations of consent. It’s pervasive. If you are not aware of consent and the way you may be violating them, then you are contributing to this Rape culture. Just take a look at the news and you see reports of young adults getting into trouble because they had no idea what they were doing was wrong! Is this a lack of education or them being exactly what this culture expects them to be?

I would love to be able to say that everyone would want a culture that respects individuals and their rights to have and enforce boundaries over their own body. The article about hugging and the comments show me that as a society we have a lot more to do in educating people about the basics of consent.