Why Can’t I be Happy?

I’d like to introduce to you JP Sears, “a an emotional healing coach, international teacher, world traveler, and curious student of life.” I have found his videos to be hilarious and insightful and best taken with a good bag of salt. No matter if he’s serious or humorous he feeds me food for thought.

Do check out his YouTube channel AwakenWithJP or his website Awaken With JP.

Facing the week with gratitude. 

It was just a few Fridays ago I wondered what would happen if I faced the week with gratitude instead. Sounds like a good idea so here we are.  I don’t know what a majority of gratitude habits are but I’ll share mine.

I like to journal. When I do keep up with it –I’m really bad at doing so – I tend to record three things I’m grateful for that day.  So that’s what I’m going to do, share a little of my morning journal with you.

Today I’ve been thinking about all the people in my life. I have some very dear friends and moments like this I know I don’t show them my appreciation as much as I should. I don’t have many I call as friends but those that are, I know I can count on no matter what. To them I wish to say, thank you for being my friend.

I’ve also been especially grateful towards my husband. He’s stayed upbeat and chipper though this whole moving process and still manages to look out for me and make me smile. He makes me feel spoiled, in a good way.

I’m grateful that I’m happy. I’m not depressed. I’m not even feeling anxiety right now. I feel like I got my head on proper for the moment. I don’t know if it’s due to dietary changes I’ve made or what. Still having sleep issues but they will work out. I can smile and feel it. It’s such a wonderful feeling of feeling a smile inside as well as out and knowing it’s not faked at all. I’m grateful for these precious days.

I do tend to repeat things like these due to events around me. I’ve noticed that the happier I am, the more I notice people’s actions in my life. Which leads to an abundance of smiles, laughter, and love.

May you all find your abundance of smiles, laughter, and love.

Any excuse will do

Any excuse will do. Any excuse will do. It’s been repeating in my head for a couple days now. It started off soft and it’s gotten louder each time. It won’t be long before it’s screaming through my head.

Any excuse will do. I keep thinking about why anyone would spend thousands of dollars on a happiness workshop. Any excuse will do. I haven’t attended many conferences and workshops yet I’m convinced that nothing they could present is new. Maybe a new way of presenting it, maybe it’s paired with good music or the exercises were adapted to the ideas presented, but is that alone worth thousands of dollars? Any excuse will do keeps echoing in my mind. So these people are spending thousands of dollars for an excuse. Any excuse to do what? Be happy?

Be happy. I see lots of smiling faces, all a glow, bouncy energy flowing and for a moment I believe it. Any excuse will do. Some of the most smiling faces I know are also the most depressed faces I know. I see it and they don’t want me to see it. So I smile back.

How odd that the smile is used to express happy. A smile is a threat. A smile shows teeth, shows power, shows force. And this is what happy is all about? There it goes again, Any excuse will do. A real happy shows in the eyes. A real happy draws one upward into the soul. And now you know why eyes are called windows of the soul.

Any excuse will do.

Thanksgiving 2015

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me and my Master

I hope all my readers out there are having a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. This year me and my husband is cooking a classic family feast and I’m excited. Some of these dishes haven’t been made in a long long time. But today I want to step aside from all the cooking and talk about being thankful. Especial when one is going though major life changes.

Three years ago in May I attracted the attention of a man who would become my Master. We kept a long distance on-line relationship quite happily over that time span. And now during all the holiday celebration in the last months of the year, we are winding down our relationship and will be going our own ways, preserving the friendship that we both cherish.

I am choosing to celebrate our time together during these holiday celebrations instead of focusing on what is no more. The reasons for our separation are varied but it is a joint decision and one I can find no fault of logic in. Our lives and needs have diverged to the point where we can not be as we once were.

I never have really spoken about him in depth here on this blog and now I wish to sing his praises. He is the man who taught me to trust again, the depth of my submission and my ability to give. He stood by me in tough times. He supported me when I was hurting and needing a shoulder to lean on. He is one of those rare men, who accepted me, all of me as I was and never once made me ashamed of who I am. He has been my teacher, my confident and my best friend. Because of him, I learned to accept myself, to love myself. Because of his gentle nurturing side, I was able to find my way back to myself and heal all my parts into one. And because of his sternness, I learned to think deeper and to accept orders without myself getting in the way.

I respect and admire this man greatly. And I still have much to learn. His ethics, his nature and his strength of will has rubbed off on me. I still have much further to go, to learn and to become. I will live my life in such a manner that I will always know that he can be proud of me. There is much I owe him. I am the person I am today because he saw me and what I could be.

I am looking forward to a different kind of relationship with him. I have hopes that our long talks will continue. I hope that we continue to share our lives and happiness with each other. I hope we continue to support each other and be a needed shoulder to lean on. I hope the next steps on this journey is filled with more love for both of us.

I will be taking the time to heal and celebrate my life. I have several projects in the fire. It will be interesting to see how these turn out. Even more work on myself too.

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Reflections and Memories

But Thanksgiving is held to be a day of joy. And it is. Sometimes even the most difficult things faced can be joyous if you choose it to be.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the three years I had with him and in our continuing friendship.

Amor aeternus est

Gratitude even Though Tears Fall

Every Friday I hope to post that week’s gratitude journal here. I feel that taking a moment to truly be thankful will increase my personal happiness. I’d like to invite you to do the same and even post a comment to share your journal as well.

The basic idea is to find five things that occurred during the week that has made a meaningful impact on you that you are grateful for.

This week I am grateful for:

1. Having friends that have listened to my poor ramblings and shared their love and concern with me.

2. For my daughters, their bubbliness is quite amazing.

3. I’ve been going through some hard emotions this week but this morning the sunrise was beautiful. The reminder that there is beauty in tears, I am grateful for. The reminder that the sun will come out from behind the clouds gives me hope.

4. I am grateful for ‘Knowing” I have a choice. This single idea is powerful and it was a hard lesson to learn.

5. I am grateful in being able to say that I was wrong as now I can take a look and see what I can do right.

Web articles of interest:

Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Turn Pain to Joy: 11 Tips for a Powerful Gratitude Journal

Seven Unique Ways to Keep a Gratitude Journal You Can Stick With

Pen and Paper: Focusing on Gratitude

Hybrid Project ~ Gratitude Journals

Friday’s Journaling Gratitude

Thank the Gods It’s Friday. I’m starting a weekly gratitude journal here. I am feeling the need to take a closer look at my life and to see what I can do to increase my personal happiness. I’d like to invite you to do the same and even post a comment to share your journal as well. I hope to continue this journey into gratitude for the remainder of the year.

The basic idea is to find five things that occurred during the week that has made an meaningful impact on you that you are grateful for.

This week I am grateful for:

1. Having Aries point out that my priorities were a little messed up and that leaving myself on the bottom of the list wasn’t good for me or for my kids.

2. My husband being willing to get on board with a difficult task and help get it done.

3. My children’s willingness to watch Dr. Who. I am very grateful to get some mommy TV time without any complaints.

4. Unexpected chocolate. When my husband comes home with chocolate knowing I’m having a hard time with my cycle.

5. My daughter’s love of flowers and their willingness to give a stranger a flower they just picked just to see the smile it brings.

Web articles of interest:

Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Turn Pain to Joy: 11 Tips for a Powerful Gratitude Journal

Seven Unique Ways to Keep a Gratitude Journal You Can Stick With

Pen and Paper: Focusing on Gratitude

Hybrid Project ~ Gratitude Journals