I frequent Fetlife quite a bit. In one of the groups, I am a member of a question came up about how we felt about the phrase ‘power exchange.’ So I took a few days to think about this and posted. I’ll now share what I posted.
I like the phrase ‘power exchange.’ I think it is accurate shorthand for what goes in inside both D/s and M/s relationships. I find the whole idea of power really needs deeper thought and better explanations. Power in this context covers a broad range of ideas; personal power, power of authority, locus of control, even internal and external ego.
I do see an exchange in these relationships between the D/M and the s/s. With D/s it’s a frequent exchange between both. M/s it’s there but oddly one-sided on the M side.
A slave, what makes a slave, is that there is no longer and constant redeciding to submit, hand over their personal power, it’s now in a stable state of already given. Their locus of control is outside of them so they are pulling from the Master the very things they need to continue to function. Instead of a back and forth, there is now an inflow.
The Master is also no longer doing the back and forth dance and is in a stable state. However, his internal locus of control now contains someone outside of himself. So there is a greater degree of internal checking between those two states before extending his power, his external control and thus his dominance. It flows from the Master to the slave.
The feedback loop that is created in Master / slave relationships is within the Master, inside the internal locus of himself and his slave with the slave being completely dependent on it.
Break that loop and it breaks the relationship and the slave.
I know it reads very cerebrally. And I know I crammed a lot of ideas in very few words. I guess I’m putting this out there so others can ponder and so I can keep a record of it.