Ten years ago, today, I was lying in a hospital bed. Sore and waiting as the contractions slowed down having attached myself to the great tree of life, I surrendered to the ebb of all that was. We three be me, were in battle for our daughter’s life. My Autumn with her boots defending, my Isabella with her broom sweeping and me as if holding a concerto, directing it all. We had to work together seamlessly and we did.
So I don’t confuse anyone, I was in preterm labor at 25 weeks and my waters were infected. The docs were doing all they could to save me and my baby. Tomorrow is her tenth birthday. And she is a normal, healthy ten year old girl who was just too eager to be here.
The days that followed I called upon something unshakable and it became my guiding light. I found an unshakable faith that my daughter would be just fine and they we both were coming home. It was a source of strength that bore me well in the the days to come. I felt I had to ‘keep the faith’ so that everyone else involved in her care would not lose hope, not doubt that she would be coming home. I recall smiling softly at those who wanted to shake me, inject they doubts in me, to make sure I knew, that I understood reality. Oh, I understood. I knew I worried them, knew they felt I was in denial of reality. Their worries an concerns were not my own. I knew, without doubt, she would be fine. And I held on to that with a tight grip, never wavering, never doubting the future, never doubting the outcome, not for a single moment.
In looking back, I smile. Such fierce faith is a treasure and a strength. My daughter is a fierce one, strong of heart with unexpected treasures to discover. We both were connected to the tree of life, to all that is, was and ever will be for a span of time, hand in hand. She is my lil spark seedling.
Blessed be the trees in our lives. May you all find your soul connection.