I’ve plucked her back out
And placed her in the cage again
Not for failures want
But for needed rest.
Stasis needed to slow the bleeding
Let the healing begin
She will be alright
Is it odd that I can pluck out parts of me and set them aside or even bring forward parts needed to express? Is this so strange from others? That I may indeed be choosing when and where to be what I am? That all that I am is based on this strange sense of choice?
Who can set aside their heart in such a manner? Let it sleep in twilight of life. Not so much as waiting, but giving it no focus as it mourns things lost, separate from daily consciousness. I’ve preserved qualities I hold dear and precious, innocence and joyful love. Even I morn my actions in my own way.
For I am alone, heartless and without her gentle touch. Is it strange to miss me being me? She would weep till the end of time if I allowed it. And she shall weep an eternity, but not in this dimension. I have moved her to a place no time exists, an eternity she shall remain. In this arrow of time, eventually I will call her back to see the sun has risen high and life calls forth. I know she will open up and bloom once again. For that is what she is, love personified, innocence and joy radiating.
For now I shall feel her loss, missing her beating inside me, her soft whispers tickling my ears. I know I should feel it more. Without her, I feel so little in this life.
I am Autumn. I am she who’s feel the sting of hate deep in her soul. I am she who’s bore the pain of life on her body. I am she who’s never given up no matter the cost. I am she who was rejected by those she protects. I am she who holds threads of time. I am she who is here, not to protect but to live. I am Autumn.
It will take time for me to get used to writing like this. I am more a poet than a writer. On Isabella’s urgings I will do what I can to keep this blog going. So, I am here to say hello. I believe I will be here for a measure of time indeed.