Not a Gratitude Friday

It’s been a difficult day for writing. So many pieces demanding attention and I’m distracted. I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting for answers. I can do nothing but wait. I’m aiming for a graceful wait but I’ll settle for not biting off all my nails. That’s the happy part of my day right now.

There are a lot of things I could write about being grateful. Most unfortunately carry a deep streak of bitterness. I had planned a series of ‘confessions’ which got nixed for reasons beyond my control. Turning storm clouds into silver is a lot of hard work. I have quite a few things to work out, like my anger.

12391946_10153269867933202_5917381866780036634_nI am furious with one individual. And it’s been very hard for the last several months to stay upbeat and chipper much less keep control of my erratic online behavior. I even contemplated closing the doors to over 20 year’s worth of work down under this name.

And I’m angry. I grateful for that.
I know what I am feeling now.
White hot blazing anger.

I’m not angry at myself. Far from it. I’m disappointed in myself, for sure. But not angry at myself.

There is a whole lot more I’d love to say. A shit load of stuff I’d like to address to the individual my anger is directed too, but I can not do so. It would be an exercise in putting makeup on a pig.

I’ve got some issues to work out. I’ll be using this platform to work those out and share what I’ve come up with. Anger is a good emotion to work with. It’s also one I have a hard time identifying in myself. I’m getting better at not dissociating away from strong emotions. Progress is progress. I’ll take it.

It’s all learning lessons.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

Well, splinters are small and they still drive me up a wall when they get stuck under my skin.

Time to get out my tweezers.


About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
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2 Responses to Not a Gratitude Friday

  1. FHNC says:

    Gotta feel those pesky feelings. Then growth…..

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