I didn’t intend to be writing this today, not like this. For all I know I could be yelling my head off the rooftops and no one would hear me. I need to clear up several misconceptions about Master/slave relations as I see them. Argue with me about it after you’ve slept on it.
Number one, it is roleplay. Bottom line. Consensual role play entered into by two parties in full agreement. Consent is a full belly deep Hell Yes! response that it is what is wanted. Anything less, is not consent. It’s agreement, it’s going along with things, it’s a stepping away from your required responsibilities to yourself first and foremost. Agreement for agreement’s sake is just a copout. But it is a roleplay, a negotiated and communicated role to live out life in this extra dimension of meaning, actions, ritual and commitment. It in no way erases vanilla life and responsibilities.
Slaves actually have far more responsibility than others in typical vanilla relationships. And that responsibility can not ever handed over to another, not even to your Master. You must own each and every decision to submit. Your consent must be a Hell Yes! always. And with consent must come full disclosure from your Master as to the whys and hows. You have a Right to protect yourself and that includes asking questions. Ask those hard questions. Ask those questions that lurk in the back of your mind. If doubt remains, if trust wavers know that this is normal and should be rejoiced. Your self-protection systems are working as they should. Master/slave is not something that should ever be entered into lightly and with much conversation and deliberation. You will change in unexpected ways that can not be foreseen.
Morals are NOT a value judgement. Right and wrong are NOT situational. There is only one basis for right and wrong and every religion at its core states that. Love is that core. Love is what determines what is right and wrong. Every child knows this but we learn to forget it as we grow older. We share what we have out of love. We care for another’s pain out of love. We seek to sooth out of love. We seek the best for others out of love. That is what makes things right. The whole argument about the two men doing horrible deeds to each other though they thought their own actions were right in the eyes of their god has ignored the lack of love in the hearts of those men. Right and wrong are Not based on what a person thinks is right. It is instead based solely on your ability and willingness to love your neighbor as yourself. Love is the KEY.
Slavery is not about pain. I am talking about deep soul searing pain that threatens to tear apart one’s sanity. As an emotional masochist, I can say from experience it is far too easy to find Men who are more than gleefully willing to tear apart a person’s soul and call it slavery. That will never ever be slavery. That is abuse of the highest order.
Slavery is a calling. Slavery is a joy. It is a deep well of abiding joy that never empties. The road is hard and challenging. It requires a lot of work, a lot of self work. Those are internal challenges that one must face head on and not run from. Slavery is your total commitment to being the very best person you can be, FOR YOU. Not for your Master, but for you. For those that just did a double take, this is one of those responsibilities that can not be shucked into your Master’s hand. It is yours and yours alone. Without it, without accepting this, what are you being a slave too? Desire? Desire fades. Lust? Lust fades. Slavery is a commitment to a calling that only you feel deep inside. Your Master does not feel it and can not feel it for you. They can only guide, encourage and receive the massive weight of the intensity that a slave contains inside.
Only you can determine the shape and form of what that calling contains. No amount of prompting, controlling, altering, cajoling, or abuse can change that. You determine who and how you will be a slave for another. Only you determine the exact Nature of your commitment. Anything and I mean anything less bumps on the borders of abuse to your soul.
The collar ties two, not one. Entering into a Master/slave agreement is both parties committing themselves to being the best possible person for the other while exploring this extra dimension of meaning as set out by them together. This is why no two slaves look nor act alike. This is why each Master/slave relationship is vastly different and unique from each other. The very core of what makes this unique relationship does not change. Anything less is traveling down the road to soul breaking abuses. Bruises fade, bones mend but Souls break.
Submission does not have a single thing to do with slavery. Submission does not exist for a slave. A slave has no need to bend their will to another’s. It is the slave’s will that is the core. What is your true will? Find that and you will find your slavery, joyfully.
Obedience for a slave is not earned nor given by acquiescing. Obedience is given out of an unshakeable commitment to the person who receives it, be they a Master or not. Obedience is Not to towards a Master. It is instead towards themselves first and to others second.
Slavery is also Not a roleplay. It is far deeper than that. It is that also Not aspect too many forget. Commitment is the Not a roleplay part of slavery. Those commitments, first to yourself to being the best possible you, to commitment to your true will, to your commitment to the shape and form of your slavery are the life changing elements that no roleplay could alter.
You Always have a choice. Choices have consequences. Each choice is worthy of consideration. Only you can make those decisions, not your Master. Being a slave is not a throwing away of choice. It is instead living life with eyes open as wide as possible and facing each choice, making a decision and growing as a human being should.
If I could only save One person the heartache it took me to learn this, I am grateful.
I will always be a slave. There is no coming back from that deep journey into my soul. It is a journey of transformation. And I didn’t know what I was embarking on when I started this. I don’t think anyone knows when they take their first steps down this path. I had only a yearning, a deep soul crying yearning that I followed where it lead me. I jumped off a fair number of cliffs and broke myself many times over. Somehow, no matter how directly guided I was, I could not find it until I knew me and my true will.
I am at peace.