Happy Friday everyone!
I’ve been hibernating sense November. Avoiding everyone and everything and kept my head firmly under the covers least I get buried under another ton of stuff. Stuff like deep emotions, hurts and loss, love and anger, and confusion. So I’ve been reading a lot of junk novels; dirt cheap romance books. It’s my guilty pleasure and a good distraction for what ailes me. I’ve dealt with major family crisis, ended up gravely ill and am in the middle of major life changes; all in the span of three months.
I find it appropriate that I return to blogging on a Gratitude Friday. It can be a challenge for me to reflect and acknowledge that I am grateful, even in what looks like the bleakest times.
I’ve been meditating on the concept of silence and stillness. There is something special about meditation that’s guided in a concept. I discovered that I could find peace inside myself. That while I meditated I could let go of all those things that weigh down on me, both inside and out and just be. Just be.
I’d rather sit inside this bubble of stillness than to keep searching for what I am grateful for. It’s bittersweet this time around. For the last year an a half, one particular life teacher brought out in me every emotion there could be. And now I find I am still learning lessons. Good lessons, lessons worth their weight, and it’s difficult to say that I am glad for them, the lessons and their presence in my life.
I find myself at the cusp on new beginnings. No metamores, no secondary relationships, and no D/s relationships. I’m still processing a lot of emotions and unpacking build up baggage. I am grateful for having this moment of time to be just me and only me.
And I am grateful for epiphanies that reveal the in inner workings of my mind. My integration has not been without a massive share of bumps in the process. Knowledge is power. And every bit more that I understand what happened to me and how I function is a step forward to even greater functioning in my day to day life.
Heh, it turns out I have a lot to be grateful for. Strange ways and things this time around but it’s deeply felt gratitude. May this Friday bring you joy.