I hope all my readers out there are having a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. This year me and my husband is cooking a classic family feast and I’m excited. Some of these dishes haven’t been made in a long long time. But today I want to step aside from all the cooking and talk about being thankful. Especial when one is going though major life changes.
Three years ago in May I attracted the attention of a man who would become my Master. We kept a long distance on-line relationship quite happily over that time span. And now during all the holiday celebration in the last months of the year, we are winding down our relationship and will be going our own ways, preserving the friendship that we both cherish.
I am choosing to celebrate our time together during these holiday celebrations instead of focusing on what is no more. The reasons for our separation are varied but it is a joint decision and one I can find no fault of logic in. Our lives and needs have diverged to the point where we can not be as we once were.
I never have really spoken about him in depth here on this blog and now I wish to sing his praises. He is the man who taught me to trust again, the depth of my submission and my ability to give. He stood by me in tough times. He supported me when I was hurting and needing a shoulder to lean on. He is one of those rare men, who accepted me, all of me as I was and never once made me ashamed of who I am. He has been my teacher, my confident and my best friend. Because of him, I learned to accept myself, to love myself. Because of his gentle nurturing side, I was able to find my way back to myself and heal all my parts into one. And because of his sternness, I learned to think deeper and to accept orders without myself getting in the way.
I respect and admire this man greatly. And I still have much to learn. His ethics, his nature and his strength of will has rubbed off on me. I still have much further to go, to learn and to become. I will live my life in such a manner that I will always know that he can be proud of me. There is much I owe him. I am the person I am today because he saw me and what I could be.
I am looking forward to a different kind of relationship with him. I have hopes that our long talks will continue. I hope that we continue to share our lives and happiness with each other. I hope we continue to support each other and be a needed shoulder to lean on. I hope the next steps on this journey is filled with more love for both of us.
I will be taking the time to heal and celebrate my life. I have several projects in the fire. It will be interesting to see how these turn out. Even more work on myself too.
But Thanksgiving is held to be a day of joy. And it is. Sometimes even the most difficult things faced can be joyous if you choose it to be.
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the three years I had with him and in our continuing friendship.
Amor aeternus est