Thanks for being Mr. Wrong.

This Friday’s Gratitude Journal is a little different. This week I’ve had the chance to really dive into thinking about relationships, break-ups, Mr. Wrong and Mr. Right and how sometimes we are Miss Wrong for a while too.  Surprising to me, I am thankful for all the harsh heartbreaks and painful lessons. I am thankful that Mr. Wrong came into my life for the lessons that I have learned.

Dear Mr. Wrong,

Thank you for demanding obedience right from the start. I learned the worth and value of my surrender and that it is when given willingly, without doubt and fear that the surrender is real and not intimidation and not abuse. I learned that being in survival mode is not the same as joyful surrender. I learned that boundaries should hold strong instead of breaking.

Thank you for making it a rule that I was to tell no one that I was involved with you. I learned that my safety and peace of mind are worth defending and valuing. I learned that it is healthy to have a support network and it is healthy to defend against isolating tactics. I learned that what looks like a tiny bit of dishonesty is really a dishonesty to the core.

Thank you for ignoring my concerns. I learned to trust my own judgments and my gut. I learned to rely on myself instead of you.

Thank you for using intimidation to gain control. I learned to set better boundaries and to identify the methods used to manipulate me.

Thank you for telling me that you do not care about me. I learned that I was valuable in my own eyes and that I deserve to be seen as valuable by someone who cares about me. I learned to stop caring about you.

Thank you for telling me this relationship had a time limit. I learned to trust the negative things people say as the truth. I learned that I can choose to spend my time and energy in a valuable way to me instead of accepting a temporary offer.

Thank you for demonstrating no respect for the loved ones in my life. I learned that my association with you would surly lead me to having no respect for myself and my loved ones. I learned to stand my ground and say no more. I learned to respect myself.

Thank you for trying to belittle me and convince me to your way of thinking. I learned to defend the way I think and to counter argue the things you were promoting.

Thank you for your attempt to tear me down and destroy my self esteem. I learned that I am strong and capable of making my dreams come true. I learned that lies must be examined and countered before being destroyed. I learned to base my confidence and self esteem on myself rather than other people and their thoughts.

Thank you for using all my fears against me. I learned to identify my fears and to use them to promote healthy growth. I learned to face my fears and deal with them instead of breaking under their weight. I learned to remove the damage my fears were causing me.

Thank you for using a moment of vulnerability to walk into my life. I learned to guard against those who would use such a moment for their own gain. I learned to keep my heart, life and mind guarded and protected. I learned to hold people at a distance before they earn the right to be closer to me.

Thank you for using your own anger to inflict pain on me. I learned that I do not have to accept such behavior from anyone. I learned that I was worth love and protection. I learned your anger was more to do with you than it ever had to do with me. I learned to let go of the hurt and the scars and piety you instead.

Thank you for being Mr. Wrong. Without the speed of the lessons I have learned, I am sure I would value this knowledge just a tiny bit less. These are all hard lessons won but win them I have. I stand taller, prouder and I smile just a bit more each day. I am stronger for being in the fire.


About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
This entry was posted in Sexuality and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.