Welcome to the end of the first week of June! Ya! I’m happy to say that this is a great month and today is even a better day than I thought I’d have when I woke up this morning. I woke up a grumpy bear to a cold house, a thin blanket and children bouncing all over momma. Teeheehee. I choose not to be grumpy because being grumpy—sucks. So here I am and I have a ton of things to be grateful for. This week especially. It’s been a rough week, emotionally.
My former metamores are going through a very difficult situation in their marriage. I have discussed much with them and finding out quite a bit on the status of the relationship as it involves me. And I have reflected deeply on my marriage and relationships. I have a lot, truly a lot to be grateful for.
When it comes to relationships and poly relationships in particular….these are things I am grateful for….
Commitment…I am grateful for my husband’s commitment to our marriage. Things went rocky and sideways for a while and was for a long time. But what shined clearly was after all bad behavior from everyone, me included; was said and done, he was still commitment to us. That is perseverance indeed!
Growth….relationships wither and die without change. I call it growth when it is positive change. It’s also a pretty good indicator that someone is open in heart and mind to another’s viewpoint. Even thought at times it’s painful, very painful, it does lead to a better situation for the relationship. Thankfully, growth isn’t always painful. But like growth spurts….ouch!
Understanding….Ah…this one is a bit mysterious. I did not say communication on purpose. I think we can talk each other to death and still not be understood one bit for all the words used. Understanding is in the space between and bridges the gap between two people. You see it when two people and smile and nod at each other and not say a word. You know something was said; was communicated but not the what. You understand, they get it. They get it, they get each other. That magical moment….understanding and being understood, that is worth far more than endless words.
Acceptance….I am me. That is all that I am. I know I am accepted for me by my husband and by my loves. There is no need for me to change. Ah, yes…there is no need because I am accepted as I am. As I am right now, in this moment. I know I am loved for the who that I am. Acceptance is a very powerful emotion. And strangely enough it seems to drive growth. It is the water on the seed that is the soul.
Compatibility…This one is a hard one. I fall in love rarely but there are times I have and this aspect was missing. This is where my OCD can really shine. Does it matter which way the toilet paper is rolled out? Or even which side of the sink the dishes are on? Or if it’s shoes off inside the house or not? Compatibility, well the having of it is more like having the lube of life applied to the relationship. Otherwise every jagged edge will have to be filled down and smoothed out until compatibility is created…if it is created at all!
There it is folks..five things I am grateful for this week…in relationships. It’s taken quite a bit of time and lots of lessons learned for me to appreciate these qualities in my relationships and in the people around me.
May your upcoming week be full of gratitude!