Hot Coffee

“Need a pick me up?”

I’m a coffee nut. Daily do I imbibe at the carafe of the dark mysterious brew. Today I bring you….

Another tidbit of well-traveled coffee humor….

You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When…

  • Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
  • You ski uphill.
  • You speed walk in your sleep.
  • You answer the door before people knock.
  • You sleep with your eyes open.
  • You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • The only time you’re standing still is in an earthquake.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • Your T-shirt says, “Decaf is the devil’s coffee.”
  • You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
  • All your kids are named “Joe.”
  • You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet and Low.”
  • You don’t sweat, you percolate.
  • You’ve worn out the handles on your favorite mug.
  • You’ve built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
  • People get dizzy just watching you.
  • People can test their batteries in your ears.
  • When someone asks you,” How are you?”, you say,” Good to the last drop.”
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
  • You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
  • You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
  • You speak perfect Arabic without even taking a lesson.
  • Your Thermos is on wheels.
  • You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
  • You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
  • You think being called a drip is a compliment.
  • You don’t tan, you roast.
  • You don’t get mad, you get steamed.
  • You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
  • Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
  • You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”

Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to go have another cup of coffee. “ZZZAP!”


About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
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