I’m a coffee nut. Daily do I imbibe at the carafe of the dark mysterious brew. Today I bring you….
Another tidbit of well-traveled coffee humor….
You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When…
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- The only time you’re standing still is in an earthquake.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- Your T-shirt says, “Decaf is the devil’s coffee.”
- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
- All your kids are named “Joe.”
- You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet and Low.”
- You don’t sweat, you percolate.
- You’ve worn out the handles on your favorite mug.
- You’ve built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- People can test their batteries in your ears.
- When someone asks you,” How are you?”, you say,” Good to the last drop.”
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You’d be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You speak perfect Arabic without even taking a lesson.
- Your Thermos is on wheels.
- You can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
- You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You think being called a drip is a compliment.
- You don’t tan, you roast.
- You don’t get mad, you get steamed.
- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
- You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to go have another cup of coffee. “ZZZAP!”