Thoughts on baby number two

So I’m pregnant with baby number 2. I think it’s finely sunk in good. It took a bit for the shock to wear off. It felt so surreal. It only been a little while ago; Nov 2 when I took the test. I’m nervous, scared and excited all at once. I really hope to carry full term this time. I’ve got a good feeling about it, so unlike my first child. I’m finely starting to feel pregnant.

The amazing part to all this for me is a dream I had a week before I took the test. I dreamed that I was taking a family photo and well I had this cute baby in my lap sitting beside Emy. It had that sepia colored quality to the sunlight in that dream. Right after that I started obsessing about getting my vitamins refilled. LOL Taking the test let me know which ones to get! And helped explain some of my serious mood swings and what I thought was another bout of a stomach bug.

Just a week before I found out I was nauseated and was still drinking coffee. I love my coffee; 2-4 cups a day. But the moment I quit coffee, the nausea went bye bye. So I was left just wondering when I was going to feel pregnant. I think that moment has arrived at last.

This pregnancy is turning out to be so very different. I’m no where near as sick as I was with Emy. I haven’t had to visit the porcelain God Ralf yet. Thank the Goddess!! Only have had a few odd days of fleeting nausea. More than a few night attacks of heartburn, hick-ups, hot flashes, every four hours hunger pangs, and what’s up with my bowels…? Floaters?? My body is acting so odd.

I’m not quite showing yet thanks to having put on 50 pounds after Emy’s birth. But I’ve noticed changes. My dunlop over the c-section scar isn’t so dunlopy anymore. It’s lifted up and starting to fill out and get firmer. I can’t take too much pressure on my belly otherwise it’s hurts. Sometimes I get all sorts of odd pains, pangs, throbs and sore muscles in my abdomen. They don’t last long. I still haven’t gained a pound beyond the initial 6 pound gain after I found out. I’m not to sure on my in-laws scales but it looks like I might be losing about a pound every two weeks so far.

I don’t know how far along I am. I’m figuring I took the test really early. I had already missed a period so couldn’t be no more than two months by pt test time. I feel that I was more like four to six weeks at pt test. That would make me about three months now. It’s a serious rough estimation and it’s about right on track with most of my symptoms as per Babyzone.

I haven’t found a doctor yet. I don’t want to go back to the ones who cared for me with Emy. I can’t help but wonder if they did their job right. I wasn’t gaining weight but doc had no worries about it. I wasn’t tested for BV or yeast the entire time. The current assumption by the delivery team is a BV infection that broke the waters or infected the waters after wards. Either way is moot. There was an infection. The waters had been broke for a few days too.

So finding quality medical care isn’t so possible for me. What I could afford I don’t trust and I’m going to have to deal with them again. It sucks. But the up side to this is that I’m not going to play nice with the docs. Some tests I’m going to refuse. Some tests I’m going to demand. The biggest thing I’m going to demand from the docs is a hunk of honesty, frankness and support. I’m pulling for VBAC even if I have to wait in the damn parking lot to ensure it. So yea I’m going in fighting for good care and a birth that I want. Please wish me some luck. LOL Some doc luck, hehe. We all need it.

I don’t even have a name picked out. Can’t seem to settle my mind to finding one. I don’t have a sense of this child yet. I know he or she is there but it’s all very quiet. At first I was so sure it was a girl but now I’m not so sure. My sex drive has spiked through the roof. Would that be a sign of a boy?? 🙂

I’ve spent a good deal of my life dreaming of kids. Ever since I was 12 I knew I wanted children. Ever since I became sexually active….disappointment after disappointment with each negative pt test result. Emy was such a shock. I didn’t think me and my hubby could make a baby. Five years of old fashioned trying and nothing; then boom. Here she is! Now I’m 31 and expecting my second child. It puts a smile on my face just to type that! Wow!

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About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
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