Some days I forget what saving a copy means. I’ve lost another post again. Gods do I hate that. Anyway, things have been good for me and Emy. She’s a happy baby most days. Thursday she got her four month shots and she’s been a little crankier that normal. Good thing the doc suggested the infant drops otherwise we’d be battling a fever. Things really have changes since my sisters were little.

Emy’s doing good. She’s now 8 lbs and 13ozs. It’s a good amount of weight for her being so early. No surprise to me, she eats like a pig and often wears it too. She’s got this thing now were she lets a good deal of the formula just spill out the sides. I’m hopeing that a slower flow nipple would correct it, other wise I’m just going to have to keep a ton of bibs. The only major thing going on now is me.

I’ve lost my insurance and I’m still being seen for the blood clots. I’ve made arrangements with the doc for payment but damn. I really pray that nothing else goes wrong. I’m worried and there really isn’t anything I can do about. I lost coverage because I ran out of time, FAMIS MOMS just doesn’t cover you forever but I’m lucky that I was even covered for a little while. I need to be thankful but it’s hard when there is so much to worry about.  Me and doc are having issues with keeping my PT levels in a range that’s good. I keep hanging high and that’s not safe either. I don’t like the fact that I have to take so much greater care now. Even the littlest cut bleeds forever. I don’t want to know what would happen in a major medical emergency. 

Uggh…at least I’m able to be home and take care of Emy. I’m so damn sleep deprived it isn’t funny. I tend to catch up on my sleep on the weekend when Jeff can watch her. But weekends really isn’t enough. It takes coffee, lots of it and naps..so many naps just to keep rolling. Too often I fall asleep with her in my arms on the couch.

Well, I think I’ll write more later. I’m going to get some sleep while I can.


About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
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