Blueberry is not a nice color

Wednesday I saw my little girl turn blue. I still can’t get that image out of my head. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get that out of my head now. All we were were trying to do was change her issole. It was overdue by a few days and I decided to stick around and get it done on day shift. Good thing I did too, more people to help out. They got me all set up and I was waiting in a chair so I could hold her for a few moments…and they started taking off the ventilator tubes and she crashed. Poor thing..her lungs were just full of secretions. They had to bag her and that felt like it took forever. All I could do was sit there and watch. It’s hard not to panic when your that close to helplessness. They did get her back and I still managed to hold her for a few seconds. Just enough to wheel out the old and wheel in the new. I didn’t think of argueing with them when they wanted to put her back in then issolet. I was just profoundly thankful.

Yesterday was eye exams so NICU was closed for most of the daylight hours. Emy’s eyes are ok still. She had an easy night, I was worried about that with all the stimulation she’s had for the last two days.

Her stat’s update: 3lbs 8oz; feedings now 32mls; her ventilator settings are very low, should be off it but she’s likes it. She’s no longer on lassics that keeps her peeing, her iron is still twice a day, currently she doesn’t have any IV’s. Yea!!


About Isabella LeCour

She is nothing more than the collections of thoughts placed into the virtual worlds. She is a poet, a mother, a lover, many things to different people. But mostly, she is nothing but smoke and mirrors - some ethereal thing that blinks in an out of existence.
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